We all knew there had to be some reason for it. No one could so publicly and confidently display such amorality, incompetence, and apathy without some sort of medical excuse. Buzzflash’s theory is as good as any: Dubya’s callousness is a symptom of a serious mental ailment. Rumors have circled for years– perhaps the pretzel-choking incident kept enough oxygen from his brain for a long enough time to cause complete amnesia with regard to ethics. Or maybe some residual effects of that crack habit finally caught up to him. Regardless, it’s far more comforting to think of Bush as the victim of a condition beyond his control, rather than merely a corrupt idiot.

This would also go a long way in explaining the reasoning behind all those five-week “working vacations.” Perhaps his doctors know something the greater medical community does not– namely, the therapeutic powers of vigorous brush-clearing and revitalizing fund-raising excursions. Even if Bush’s disorder seems impervious to the reality check offered by Cindy Sheehan, Camp Casey, and (if recent polls are any indication) the majority of Americans, we can all rest assured that he has surrounded himself with the best professional help that dirty oil money can buy.

Considering the possible repercussions of worsening symptoms (invasion of Iran, nuke-you-lar ’splosions, resignation with Cheney taking over…), maybe it’s best to just let the cowboy convalesce on the ranch for a while.

Nate Titman– Clamor Intern

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 at 2:48 pm by Intern. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.