The Notorious G.O.D.
Have you and your crew strayed from the righteous path? Do you find yourself illin’ when you know you should be representin’? Your search for deliverance ends here, as the latest, crunkest manifestation of God’s word has made its way to a bookstore near you. The posse at Nelson BibleZines now proudly offers Real, a publication devoted to bringing the salvation of mass-marketed Christian fundamentalism to wayward urbanites everywhere.
Real hopes to fill some major information gaps within America’s hip-hop culture, offering such instructive articles as “Dope Christian Rhymes” and “Jail Ain’t No Joke.” Never mind public school funding and job training programs: under the two-front assault of the “timeless truths” of the Bible (the Bling James Version, we presume) and the “unique music, fashion sense, and language” of urban youths, inner-city crime and poverty doesn’t stand a chance!
While I might sound dubious, fundamentalist dalliances into hip-hop culture certainly offer some intriguing possibilities. With Real’s support, the misogyny and homophobia of “secular hip-hop music” can take on a much holier misogyny and homophobia. And be honest: would you tune in for “Phat” Pat Robertson’s “Pimp Yo Ride” segment on “The 700 Club?” Fo-shizzle.
Nate Titman– Clamor Intern
July 28th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
good god y’all. the puns are limitless….the bush. the bush. the bush is on fire. we don’t need no water…..
August 7th, 2005 at 6:55 pm
Program on the emergence of civilization.
“14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.”
Favor.
And disfavor.
They point out Africans’ attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it’s applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.
The roots of racism are not of this earth.
Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals, so this nulified diversity of life claims on sub-continental Africa, zebras being a fine example.
god is a computer
And we’re all on auto-pilot.
Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:
1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as “god”
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management –
3. Mafia (evil) aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere (”On planets where they approved evil.”)
Then we come to terrestrial management:
4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia - the real-world interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.